It’s a new year and a new decade*.
Honestly, 2019 has felt like the longest year of my entire life. Everyone says as you get older the years start to fly by, and it’s generally been true for me any other year. I blow my own mind thinking back to events that happened less than a year ago, because they feel like they occurred years ago already. There were times when I tried to figure out how many months ago certain events took place that turned out to be less than a month prior. 2019 was molasses.
There have been a lot of shake-ups this past year. Stuff has been changing for me in ways that it hasn’t in a long time. On top of that, I took up a huge project at work that I allowed to eat up way too much of my personal time, for many months straight. Against better judgment, I started playing an MMORPG, Final Fantasy XIV. For the past six months, any free time I had outside of work I spent in that. That’s not really a bad thing, but it’s probably not a good one, and certainly not a productive one.
Looking back on the whole decade, I’ve become a much more cynical person than I was when I entered the 2010s. To become less naive about the world, I’ve become less trusting of others. Unfortunately, the further down the road I get, the more this semi-misanthropic worldview gets reinforced. If I make it to old age, I’ll be a curmudgeon, for sure.
Despite this, I am genuinely looking forward to the new year and decade. I don’t usually partake in New Year’s resolutions, but I have several this time, maybe more than I can reasonably handle.
First of all, I’m going on a diet. Between the work project and FFXIV sucking up all of my free time, I’ve been eating worse and exercising less than ever. I’m starting 2020 almost 20lbs beyond the steady weight I’ve maintained for most of the past decade. From January 2015 to December 2017, I effectively cut sugar out of my diet, except for special occasions like social drinking or vacationing at Walt Disney World. I’m going to return to that diet. The past year I’ve been obsessed with coffee-flavored desserts and my growing gut reflects it. Eating sugar is nice, but I’d rather once again feel proud of myself knowing that my willpower is stronger than my sugar cravings.
I’m going to start running again. I’ve agreed to join some of my friends in a half-marathon near the end of 2020. I haven’t participated in a half-marathon since 2012. I can feel the effects of years of inactivity on my body. I believe when most people around my age and a little older complain about their bodies getting worse as they age, their inactivity is the primary source of their bodies’ problems. If I want to turn back my own clock, I have to take initiative. I’m going to start slow, just walking for a while and then building up to jogging. No need to overexert and inevitably hurt myself.
Both exercise and diet will start after MAGFest (so on January 6), only because I can’t reasonably control my diet as strictly as I’d want while at the convention, but I will at least be on my feet and walking much more than I usually do. Before 2019 ended, I finished off all my sugary snacks in the house, had my last coffee dessert, and ate all the obscenely sinful meals that I’ll miss when I’m counting calories through 2020.
I’m going to quit playing FFXIV. I haven’t quit yet for two reasons. The first is that I want to collect all of the game’s PlayStation trophies before I leave, and I’m on track for completing that task either in January or February. The second reason is because I want to build a webpage on this site dedicated to my game character and discuss my thoughts on the game and my experience with it. I don’t know how long that will take, but I don’t expect it to require me to maintain an active game subscription for very long after I finish off the trophies. I expect to have my post-FFXIV feature on this site in February or March.
I’m going to start creating art again. I haven’t finished multiple art pieces in a single year since I was a teenager. I think I’m ready to be productive again. Rather than making 2D art as before, I’m moving on to 3D art. I’ve already purchased ZBrush and a really promising modeling course, I’ve built a fast PC, and Blender has recently revamped its UI. If I start successfully producing and finishing models, I’m going to reward myself with a Prusa MINI 3D printer to print out my works and place them on my desk at work.
I’m going to build and maintain a personal website. That’s this one. I’ve always wanted to build a quirky site sort of fashioned after Geocities-style personal sites from the Web 1.0 days. Now I’m finally doing it. I have lots of ideas for pages to add in the future. I’m under no pretense that anyone but me cares about anything I intend to put up here. This is really only for self-indulgence.
Aside from self improvement, I already have a couple of things to look forward to this year. The biggest so far is going to Walt Disney World in the beginning of February. I will be breaking my sugar ban for that trip. I’m also looking forward to developments in the Democratic Presidential Primary, watching the General Election unfold, and ultimately seeing who becomes President in 2021. I expect to be making a lot of political posts on this site.
This is the most optimistic I’ve been for a new year in quite a long time. 2019 wasn’t terrible for me by any means, but I wouldn’t give it more than like a ‘C’ grade. I hope my optimism for 2020 is well-placed. Let’s get an A year this time.